charts and graphs and ergs oh my - 171.2

So, keeping with the theme of numbers, and the fact I am at a one+ year low on my bathroom scale... I am posting this chart to remind my future self what actual work and actual weight loss looks like. This is a one-month period, and I have gone from 177.2 to 171.2 - which is 1.5 pounds per week on average. Check out those fluctuations, though! Just keep that in mind.

March is a hard month for me. I wrote this on another blog the other night:

I forget how hard March is for me. Mentally, that is. It's the anniversary of my dad's death. He basically dropped on my mom's birthday, was in ICU for 7 days then another 5 after we pulled him off life support. So this is a trying 2-week period. I'm smack in the middle of it, and being that it has been 10 years there are a LOT of FEELS going on. I am uncomfortable. But the feelings will pass. I'm trying to consciously FEEL them.

[...]

In any case. I didn't drink the wine. I thoroughly enjoyed the show through my tears and even laughed a lot. I got home and didn't make a drink or have peanut butter or anything - just stuck to my plan because I want to be a lighter bicyclist and ride up to Ft. Collins like IT IS NOTHING come the end of June. I'm happy with my choice. I'm sad about my dad, but as the guy on stage last night said... "Life is for the living." I am happy I'm out experiencing it.

And two days after originally writing that, well, the feelings are passing. It's hard, but I'm happy to be here experiencing life. And then funny things happen, like randomly this morning, the radio DJ on an alternative station said "Today is Roger Whittaker's birthday!" and then was joking about how your parents may have forced you to listen to him. Dad LOVED that guy. He does have a lovely voice. Kind of nice after Monday, and yesterday, being so tough. Today is better. The emotions DID pass. I don't want to eat all the things or drink all the alcohol, and I didn't the past 2 days. My want to be the best bicyclist I can be at the end of June trumped that. This is a win - a real win - not using food or alcohol to cope. Just let it be, and let it pass - it *will* pass.

Other things of note: a pretty relative stranger said to me "I don't want to say you are oversensitive, but you are very hard on yourself, and it may be getting in your way. Don't overthink it." INTERESTING. This is something a lot of people have told me, related to various areas of my life. I know it is true, and I feel like I have been working on it, but clearly it is still something that affects me. I can work on that a little more.

And, lastly - this morning I pulled a 2K in 8:42.3. Just to see. Next time I'm going for under 8:40.9...

Happy Wednesday, everyone - we're halfway to the weekend!