I'm not doing it, weight-loss wise. Everything else in life is going crazy, and the weight loss piece is falling off. I am using food/drink as a crutch. I don't know how to fix this. I feel like I should have it all together. I mean, I made WW Lifetime back in August. Why can't I get back there? Why am I going over my calories every single day? Why am I not choosing to stick to my plans? What is the matter with me?
I feel like these are all the wrong questions. They focus on my failing. Which... I very much feel that I am failing right now.
But, am I? I mean, in this constant chaos... I have generally maintained my weight, even if that number is over my goal. I have been through two character attacks. I have gone on trips. I have quit my job. I have no paycheck. I have no job offer right now.
I think what is going on right now is, I'm not using healthy coping strategies to deal with the stresses in my life. I don't want to do that. I need to just let the emotions run their course, and not use food. I really want to figure out how to navigate LIFE without using FOOD to distract me from the unpleasant experiences and emotions that come with the beauty of LIVING.
Which means... my why is that I want to live my best, healthiest life. I know that's not specific enough. I want to live a completely unlimited life - I want to move easily in the world, to not be self-conscious about how I look, to be able to run and bike and keep up with my active friends and husband. I want to be as healthy as possible for as long as possible so that I can enjoy as much life as possible. Now, those things... those are my real reasons. I want to experience ALL of life. And yes, that means the bad parts, but there are also many GOOD parts. I want no distractors.
I don't want to be a "fair weather loser." I want my weight to remain constant and healthy, even in times of trouble.
I know I said yesterday (or whenever I wrote my last post) that I want to get to goal on April 19. Well, I take that back. I want to get myself back to healthy in whatever amount of time it takes me. And I want to actively work on staying there. It is honestly kind of a WIN that I am within 5 pounds of goal weight range, so let's just chip away at getting back there, and keep in mind that my why is to be the healthiest version of ME so that I can fully enjoy my life. That means being the best swimmer, cyclist, skier, runner I can be, and that is a lot easier to do with less weight on my frame. I'm worth the effort. My life experience is my why. I want to be as healthy as possible so that I can soak up all the experiences life has to offer.
And now, I'd better get to it.
Here's a great article about overcoming emotional eating: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/shrink/201206/five-strategies-overcoming-emotional-eating
No comments:
Post a Comment