Gain Lessons

I am up 1.8 pounds this week according to the Weight Watchers [and my own bathroom] scale. I could attribute the gain to the thick socks and heavy sweater I was wearing, but really I expected that the scale would be up. So, what did I learn this week?

I learned that no matter what Weight Watchers says about having those "extra" weekly points [calories] available, I should not use more than 20 of them if I want to see real losses on the scale. Basically, I ate more calories this week than I should have. I think my points level [calorie level] should be at the LOW end of the recommended spectrum if I want to lose weight.

I also learned that I do have to track fruit points and not eat it for "free." If you are a Weight Watcher, fruit does not count against your daily food intake. However, it still has calories, and it USED to count in Weight Watchers. I abuse this "free fruit" concept. I will factor fruit in to my daily food intake from now on - fruit will still be consumed, but it will be tracked with a points value, not as a freebie.

Two weeks ago I used only 15 weekly points and had no fruit - that week I lost two pounds. This past week I ate fruit without tracking it (free) and used all my weekly points [calories], and I GAINED. Lesson learned, now going to put it in to practice!

16 pounds to go.

the birthday goal

According to my bathroom scale - which means without clothes - I missed it by .2 pounds! I came very close. If you go by my weight on the Weight Watchers scale, I missed it by 2 entire pounds.

HOWEVER... this means I did lose 5 pounds!

Our trip to Florida involved SEVERAL fruity drinks, quite a bit of fried food, and lots of other snacky things we don't normally eat. We barely worked out. By the time we went to the wedding, I had a canker sore from all the margaritas and was on to dirty martinis. Talk about doing some damage!

On our flight back to Colorado, we decided we'd do a detox where we had ZERO carbs for 10 days. It totally worked. I lost the vacation weight and then some. DH did it with me to be supportive, but of course he ended up losing weight. I think he leaned out (if that is even possible) but he certainly doesn't need to be losing any weight. He's back on the carbs full-tilt, as of today.

Because the detox left me feeling so good, I'm sticking to the modified version of the program for the next month. The program is called Carb Back-loading, or CBL. I know people who have had fantastic results, so I'm trying it. It really is easy for me to do and I am surprised. Basically it is hold off on breakfast as long as you can, then when you do eat during the day, make it very very low carb. Work out in the afternoon, and after your workout you can add carbs in, so long as you keep your calories in check. This is to be paired with pretty intensive weight training and is not well suited to endurance sports (running often or far, spinning, cycling, rowing, etc). The idea is to sort of regulate your insulin, spiking it after a workout to trigger muscle growth while inhibiting fat storage.

I'll let you know how it goes. I have completed 2 weeks on this, the first 10 days were no carb, the last 4 days have been carbs only after the afternoon workouts. I have had NO cravings and am not hungry, ever. It's honestly quite amazing. Apparently once you start adding the carbs back in, you will gain back some of the initial weight lost, so I suppose we will see Thursday where the scale really lands. But overall, it's great. I did go through a moderately uncomfortable couple of days in the middle of the 10-day prep (no carb) phase, but that passed and I have felt really good ever since. As my dad would say... "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

14 pounds to go. Yay, me.

on body image and utter ridiculousness

Last weekend I attended a wedding in the Florida Keys. It was really wonderful, the entire weekend was fantastic except for one little segment.

Here are 2 photos (which I really like) that were taken of me while at the wedding:

These pictures were taken JUST before I had a pretty good meltdown over how badly I believe I look these days. The meltdown could have been sparked by the effects of either the drinks I'd had or a residual jellyfish sting reaction... but some of it is, well, definitely attributed to unexplainable self-loathing.

DH's response: I don't even want to acknowledge this ridiculousness, so I'm not saying anything.

I get his reaction, I really do - NOW. That day, I did not understand his reaction - but four days and two fantastic photos later, I have no explanation or justification for the absurdity of the garbage that was coming out of my mouth. But, the garbage was coming out of my mouth and I never want that to happen again. I'm not perfect, I will never BE perfect and that's OK. (After all, only God is perfect.) But I am working on improving myself, and that is wonderful.

My little episode lasted only fifteen minutes, but it was a brutal fifteen minutes and a blemish on what was, otherwise, a spectacular vacation. I have since talked with DH about my issue with myself and this particular incident. He was great. He agreed to help me make the "U-turn" in my thought pattern if I even start going down that road. I have decided to make a conscious effort to stop any negative self-talk - in my head and especially out loud.

This is... NOT an easy thing to deal with and it is NOT a change which will not happen overnight, but I'm happy we talked about it and that I can see how ridiculous it is. My goal is to work toward being able to recognize that I'm being ridiculous and do the U-turn myself as those thoughts are happening. At least I'm aware of The Crazy, so I think that is a step in the right direction.

I feel like as I lose weight, my image of myself has become worse, and I want to stop that trend. I think this is important to acknowledge because it really is one of the tougher things to deal with on a weight loss journey. I know many others go through it, too.

I'm working on it!

one month 'til my birthday...

I'm not into posting more than once on a given day, BUT I noticed that today is exactly ONE MONTH from my birthday!

BIRTHDAY GOAL: 7 pounds to put me down in the next scale decade. :) A difficult goal, yes... but also a doable one.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnddddd GO!

scale shenanigans

Dear Scale,

I would love to say that your behavior this morning was entirely your fault, but
you and I have had a relationship long enough (and consistent enough) that I know I cannot blame it solely on you.

While I would love to believe I did everything perfectly this past week, if I look back at what I did and what I ate, I can see things I can improve for the coming week which will make our interactions have a much more positive outcome.

That being said, I'm not taking all the blame for what happened between us this morning. I am acutely aware that I can't trust what you tell me the day after I eat anything with tomato sauce, and given that I had a slice of pizza for lunch yesterday, I know I can only take what you said today with a grain of salt. So I am going to forgive you for your antics this morning.

I still plan to see you again next week. I know you will continue to provide feedback on my weight loss journey, and since I know we are going to be friends for a long time, I'm giving you a pass this week for your behavior. I promise I will also work to improve mine.

No hard feelings. We'll be back to normal next time, I'm sure.

With Love,
Me

a GOAL without a PLAN is just a WISH

The title is one of my favorite mantras. If you want to be successful (at anything, not just weight loss) you need to have a plan on how you will get there.

My goal is to lose 20 pounds (now 16) by the end of this year.

What will I do in order to meet my goal?

I am an active member of Weight Watchers and I will use that program to help me get there.

Now that's a good start on an overall plan, but it's still pretty general as far as plans go. So let's break it down. Good plans are specific. I like to answer these questions at the beginning of a week:

1) What will I do this week to meet my goal?
I will make sure to track everything I eat and stay within my allotted points, and I'll work out to get some extra points.

This is a good start and a good way of reminding myself regularly of what I need to be doing overall, but I still feel I need to be more specific, which is the purpose of the following questions.

2) Do I have healthy snacks and staples on hand in my house and at work?
If yes, good! If no, make a list of what you need and go to the grocery store to stock up.

This one is key. You have to keep the good stuff around. Carrots, apples, bananas, fresh veggies, frozen veggies, lean meat (chicken, pork), Babybel Lights, greek yogurt, berries. If you have the good stuff to reach for, it's easy to quash your hunger in a way that helps you, rather than reaching for pretzels, cereal, beef jerky or whatever is in the candy dish at the reception desk. Stock up on the good stuff!

3) What is my workout schedule going to be this week?
I will lift weights Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. I will run Tuesday, Friday and Sunday. Saturday will be my day off. I may also go to dance class on Monday night. All workouts are at night this week, after work.

Nice! This is specific and includes the TIME for workouts. Mapping out obstacles (dinner at Boss's house, etc.) also allows you to plan for when you can get your workouts in. Which brings me to the next question:

4) Do I have any obstacles coming this week that will be difficult - a party, a work lunch, a trip out of town, etc.?
If yes, plan that day, leaving lots of "free" room for the event. Party in the evening? Have a healthy breakfast and healthy lunch, get a good workout in, and snack on lots of veggies before the party. If no obstacles for the week, pick a day that will be my free day, OR let the week play out knowing I have ONE free day.

Life happens, so an impromptu happy hour may kind of derail you, but let it derail you just for that day and move your schedule around to make it work. You want to lose weight for good, so you have to figure out how to work "staying healthy" in with your life. Go to dinner with your boss, just move the workout to the morning that day, eat well all day, etc. Keep the overall plan in tact, even if you have to move the pieces around.

And finally... you have to have a consistent way of measuring your progress. My method is Weight Watcher meetings. So my last weekly planning question is:

5) Will I be at my Weight Watcher meeting this week - or do I need to find another one to attend?
This may not apply to you, but it applies to me. I have to weigh in and be present at a meeting to get my bearings on a regular basis. Whatever you choose to do to measure your progress, stick to it and measure, even on the weeks you don't want to. ESPECIALLY on the weeks you don't want to!

So you have your general plan, then your more specific plan, and if you really need it you can make a daily plan (I do that, too). My plans are specific, but not totally rigid. But if I don't have a plan, well, I'm just WISHING the weight will come off, and we know how well that goes.

So make a plan, stick to the plan and GET TO YOUR GOAL! :)

sixteen to go

I am down another 2 pounds this week and am a sweet sixteen pounds from goal. Yay, me!

What worked? I wrote down everything I ate. I only had 1/2 of ONE day of the week where I didn't pay attention and track it, that was DH's birthday party. BUT... I assumed I used up all my "extra" points and calories that night, so stayed very strict with my limits on the other days of the week.

Also on DH's birthday party night, we did 10 miles of biking to restaurants and bars (super fun!!) so I am sure that helped to offset things!

I made a workout plan for the week and stuck to it. I've done 2 days of BFL lifting (LOVE IT!!) and also did a 5K time trial run with the tri club this past Tuesday. I was at 30:41 for that run... would like to be below 30 minutes again... but at least I am running.

I also stayed again for the "meeting after the meeting" and while I am well aware of everything discussed, I like hearing it again. I think the refresher is helping - well, judging by my results from last week, it is.

So now, to make a plan for this week. Which will be the topic of another post...