tracking success - 175.8

One of the things in the Matthew McConaghy Greenlights book is to take note of what is going on when things are going WELL. Track your successes, as well as your failures. Since the beginning of this year, I am down almost ten pounds. I feel great. I am so happy I have been able to stick with the Caroline Girvin workouts. I am halfway through the Epic 1 program, and this is easily the longest I have stuck with a fitness program that didn't involve a team, or a trainer, in real-life. We returned to RMTC track workouts this week, on the windiest day EVER, and while I could not do the entire workout, I was shocked I did 3/4 of it and at a pace over three minutes faster than my typical run time. Caroline's workouts are helping me more than I think they are!

I have also been religiously tracking and planning my meals in MyFitnessPal, following the macro recommendations a nutritionist gave me, years ago. I aim to get 20% of my calories from protein, 30% from carbs and 50% from fat (health fats, as much as possible). This style of eating, and tracking what I eat, is not hard for me to do overall, because I am used to it. I decided I was going to do it, and I picked it right back up. Most days, the macros just line up based on my food choices, I don't have to think about getting the ratios too much because I know how to do it. It's a habit, as long as I want it to be. 

So that's how I got the scale to move in the right direction. The weight didn't really want to come off at first, but lately it is picking up. Probably because I am building muscle (which burns more calories than fat does) and because I'm being picky about what I'm eating. I want the healthy stuff. Snacks are nuts, olives, veggies. I am cooking my own food more. Less processed things in general. I still love my full fat cheese of course, and my glass of wine. But in moderation, those things have a place in my life. And they likely will, forever. I don't know if this has any impact on scale movement, but I'm seeing friends more and doing nice things for other people as much as I can. My sister just got a new puppy, I sent them a box of fun puppy things, and a few fun things for them, too. Mentally, I feel better when I can contribute positively to others' lives. 

Lately I have been thinking about my genes. Three out of my four grandparents lived into their 90s. I still have one living grandma, my mom's mom, who will be 97 in June, and almost every day she walks laps around the pool deck with her walker. She keeps her weight down, and still enjoys a small glass of wine each day. She once told me "Don't sit down, you'll get old!" Wise words. My dad's parents both lived into their 90s. Grandpa ran a tree nursery and even though Grandma was in a wheelchair, she did a lot of work and movement every day to keep the house going. And then their son, my dad, died just shy of the average life expectancy. Dad was very active as he aged - but he also drank multiple cocktails per day the last twenty years of his life, and he became more sedentary after 70. He was still active enough to go skiing up until three weeks before he died, but he let his activity level really taper off. He also generally had a lot of stress and angst throughout his life, which he never seemed to deal with other than by drinking more. I think the stress and drinking contributed to his early death. I mean, both his parents lived into their 90s. They were not stressed. They moved a lot. They drank minimally. The lesson here is not lost on me. I have GREAT GENES, and so did my dad, but in a sense, he squandered them. I will not make the same mistake. 

It is a beautiful spring day in Colorado. St. James has their last fish fry for Lent tonight, so we'll walk down there for dinner. I am so happy that I'm healthy enough to do that, I do not take it for granted. And my meal is already planned out and in my tracker, huzzah! Already took the dogs for a walk, going to shower and do my nails before we head out for the evening. This is the kind of lifestyle I'd like to keep forever. Part of that journey I never want to end... ;) 

a journey I don't want to end - 179.9

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Here it is after mid-March, already. Things health wise are going well. I am following the CG workouts. For Lent I gave up most sugar and alcohol (though I still have wine and the occasional baby Manhattan). We're eating at home more, and I make healthy meals and track my food. We had a super awesome ski weekend in Snowmass, I didn't track a thing but also didn't overeat or drink and I came back exactly the same weight. I am not sure I could do that for a full week, but this is definite progress. Something seems to be clicking with me, this time. Like, I want it [optimum health and fitness] innately and I'm just choosing the healthy behaviors because I know it's the best thing for me. I'm not super focused on the results, I'm more focused on "committing to the chase" of doing the day-to-day work and, well, the results seem to be taking care of themselves. 

So I just listened to a Q&A session on fitness/exercise with Caroline Girvin, during which, she said fitness 'should be a journey you never want to end.' VERY well put. When I start changing a habit, I typically ask myself 'Can I do this for the rest of my life?' and that is a similar concept, but for some reason I really prefer the thought of just making this journey to health be something that I never want to end. I never want to eat fat-free cheese. I cannot do fat free cheese for even a day, let alone the rest of my life. Therefore, fat-free cheese has no part in my journey. 

And further, I want to ski every winter for the rest of my life. Even if I'm 96, I honestly don't want skiing to be outside the realm of possibility. My grandma is 97. She can't move the way she used to, but she still loves a trip to the grocery store or to Bealls to look for new pants or tops. Therefore, she does laps with her walker around the pool deck at my mom's every day (weather cooperating). She does this so that she can still go walk around the store - for her, shopping is the thing she will always do for as long as possible on her journey. I really think that if my grandma were a skier, she could ski the bunny hill today, if that's what she wanted to do. But she doesn't ski, and that's what I want, for me - my journey will ideally include skiing into my 90s, followed by a slopeside adult beverage, of course. 

I also want to be able to walk my dogs every day. I want to eat all the tasty in-season vegetables. I want to COOK the tasty in-season vegetables. I want to eat full-fat cheese, have a cocktail, enjoy a slice of cake (in moderation, of course) - there will be zero forbidden foods or drinks on this journey. I want to be well rested. I want to be there for my DH, my family and my friends, wherever "there" is, even if it's just on Zoom. I want an annual trip with DH and friends to a fun destination, and I want to physically enjoy whatever we decide to do - a ski, a hike, sledding, bike rides, whatever. I want to ride my bike and rollerblade throughout the warm seasons for the rest of my life. I realize I *may* have to give up my rollerblades (pavement is a lot less forgiving than snow) but I will ride a trike if it ever has to come down to that! These are the parts of my journey that I never, ever want to end, these are the reasons why optimum health and fitness are important to me. 

I really do want to have as much fun outside as possible, for as long as possible. Do I want to do the daily workout? Some days, maybe not, but because there's a bigger goal I can tie that workout to, I JUST DO IT. That's where my head is at, these days. I am currently listening to Matthew McConaghy's Greenlights audio book. It's amazing, and probably the fuel for my current mindset. All I know is I have felt great about life in general at times when I was in great physical shape - tennis, rowing, triathlons. If you have your health, you have everything, there is nothing more important. I am happy I am making my mental and physical health a priority right now. That is definitely a journey I do not want to end, so I will just keep my commitment to me. 

Consistency - 181.2

Quitting my job back in December so that I could take back my health and sanity may seem extreme, but really it was just what had to happen. I recognized that I could not adjust how I wanted my life to look, while remaining in the situation I was in. I was unable to incorporate consistent healthy habits in the midst of that environment, so at the end of the day, I chose me over the money. 

January and February were for decompressing and getting back to a healthy routine. Things I am now doing consistently for my health, both physical and mental:

• Tracking calories with the aim to hit my 50%-30%-20% fat-carb-protein ratio
• Following Caroline Girvin's workouts - Epic Beginner complete, Epic 1 started yesterday
• WW job
• House chores
• Calling my mom just to chat at least twice a week
• Seeing friends at least once a week
• Skiing at least once a week

March is for assessing my view of a good life, beyond just good health, and taking steps that are actually in line with that. Plus, I want to continue and BUILD ON the healthy things I've been doing. 

Things I want to be more consistent about:

• Daily dog walks
• Daily declutter (add something small, like a drawer or a cabinet each day)
• Daily stretch or yoga routine

Lent starts tomorrow. I think I can just incorporate those three bullets above into my days for Lent. In addition, I'd like to cut sugar and alcohol on weekdays. So, how will I do all this? 

• Daily dog walks - these can happen at lunch
• Daily declutter - this can happen in the space between breakfast and lunch. Literally this doesn't have to be more than 15 minutes. I can do a single drawer or a single shelf, or if I'm feeling ambitious, a cabinet or closet (more time, but fine!)
• Daily stretch/yoga - ideally this will follow a workout. But I can also carve out some time every day before breakfast. I need to be waking up a bit earlier anyhow, I can start that tomorrow. Wake up and stretch/sun salutations. 

As for cutting the sugar and alcohol, I'll have substitutes on hand (like fruit and dates for the sugar, and diet ginger ale or kombucha as alcohol subs). That is really just a mindfulness thing. I'll probably keep the Friday night bourbon, and some weekend wine or cocktails, but I can be mindful there, too. Realistically I don't want to eliminate sugar and alcohol completely from my life, (hello, maple syrup on weekend waffles!) but I definitely see the benefits of - and have the desire to practice - moderation around them. 

Getting my head straight about consistency for my health really is key for me. I am on my way, there. None of this is extreme. It's really just what I want to become. So now I go DO.

Happy first day of March. :)

 

real change - 183.6

I quit my 9 to 5. Or my 7 to 9, as the case ended up being. The bottom line is I didn't like what I was doing, and more importantly who I was becoming, and while I did my best to change the situation and set my boundaries, in the end, there was no solution other than to leave. That was a month ago.

So what's next? More focus on my health and wellness. Me. Being a better wife, friend, daughter, mentor, human. Getting at what makes me happy, so I can be filled with joy and gratitude, rather than irritation and despair. This is not an overnight process.

Steps I'm taking, in no particular order: 

• New part time job as a WW Coach. 
• Regular workouts. 
• Decluttering and organizing my house.
• More contact with people I love. 
• Provide support for people I love, who need it.
• Spend more time doing things I love.
• Trusting God to provide what I need, and what my family needs, as he always has.

The last step is clearly the most important.

I have made a promise to myself to be at a healthy weight (*actually* healthy) by my birthday this year. I'm 30 pounds from that mark, today. I am happy that with Covid, I have managed to stay relatively even, my gain is really only 5% of my body weight. But to lose 30 pounds, that is roughly 20% of my body weight. This is a big change, which is also not an overnight process, but is absolutely doable. I did this before, I can do it again. I know what to do, I know I have had success in the past and I know I will do it this time. I don't know how I know, but I know. Ha, maybe see the last bullet point above!!

 So how will I do this? It starts with little healthy changes I can live with. I already track. Now to get serious and weigh/measure again. Also, incorporate reduced snacking (or at least IMPROVED snacking!) and regular workouts. These things are happening. Focus on my behaviors and their impacts. This time, the mentality - this WILL happen, because I CAN do this!

With that, I'm off to declutter, workout, and train for my new job. Little steps toward becoming the HEALTHIEST ME I can be! :)

Between two dobes - 179.x

Like many people a year into Covid, I'm fatigued. I feel like I'm in a brain fog. But this is one of the best Friday nights I have ever had, between two snuggly dobermans. The end. 

apres fall - 182.2

So the belief is there. The workouts are there. But so was an upgrade project for work, a vacation, a... yeah. And it's still Covid. I did, however, make the stellar choice to skip points counting and do calories instead, as I know I will game the zero-point foods so I can eat Christmas cookies. 

We are now in a second round of lockdown, which came right as I was getting my gym groove back. Alrighty! The good thing is that gyms are not completely closed, but capacity is greatly diminished and there are all sorts of protocols in place. I actually really like this, as we have to make a reservation so it's never crowded, I get in, get the workout done, wash my hands and get out. Yippee. 

Oh yes we got a second doggie. She's a rescue and is full of issues but we love her and she's ours now. She's happy here. Her brother, not so much, but he's tolerating her better than he initially was. It's been a big and sometimes difficult adjustment for all of us. But, we're working it out, and there is a lot of extra activity. Hazzah.

Work is better, then worse. I wanted to get them through the upgrade, so I did. Then I got put on another project, which I knew was coming, but I don't want that. I also don't want to be on ANOTHER project I got put on to lead. So. Lots of fun, I'm having over here. My new boss really is great. And now everyone knows I'm the one with the answers. But I can't be the leader and do my day-to-day. I've set some boundaries and am clear in them, and am clear enough with ME, too. 

Ooh, and in fun news, I got an erg. So did sister, we independently ordered them the same week and were put on the wait list, and they were delivered to us on the SAME DAY. YES!!!! Tomorrow is my first erg workout AT HOME - yeh!!

So, that was the fall. And now Christmas is in, like 2 weeks. YIKES time is flying.

belief - 174.2

Weight loss success begins with the belief you can do it. I follow some women on WW media, they are a few years older than I am, and they look amazing. And honestly, if they can, WHY NOT ME?

DH took a pic of me at the top of Waterton Canyon a couple weeks ago. While I haven't gained weight during Covid, my body compostion has changed. The pic sparked me to start the Outside Magazine Shape of Your Life program. If you have been out of any routine or just want to get started, this is the workout plan for you. I forgot how informational the articles are, too. In any case, I'm 2 weeks in, my LT is 164 as of the test on Friday, and I feel so much better just taking small steps toward healthier me.

In other news, somehow I'm hanging in there at work. New boss is fine, he seems like a nice guy. I know the right answer, though, is to go. For whatever reason, I am conflicted about DOING that. But, THE STRESS. I really don't want this. I just don't know how to bow out gracefully.

It's ten million degrees outside. Today's activities were biking to breakfast that did not work out, but the dog had a total meltdown... then driving to a GREAT breakfast. Then washing the car, it was only 8.5 million degrees then and there was water involved...

I need to get my act together for the things I WANT to do. But at least now I totally believe I'm going to lose the weight and look amazing. I am going to do the things I need to do, follow the fitness plan, stick to the food plan, and WATCH MYSELF CHANGE.