you look amazing

Five people have told me this in the past two weeks. I am trying my darnedest to agree with them. It is HARD for me to wrap my head around You Look Like a Normal Human Being when, for most of my life, I was overweight and even obese.

I have been trying to bike, swim and lift weights regularly. I have been trying to eat less crap (and I'm pretty successful at that, 95% of the time). I have been trying to acknowledge what I love about this spectacular disease-free body I inhabit. And by trying, what is happening is that I am ACTUALLY DOING that stuff, and tracking, too! And the DOING is definitely getting results.

There have been a few incidents of too many chips or too many drinks or a skipped workout. But those are rare and OKAY when they happen. I actually started to sort of freak myself out on Friday because I was really exhausted and went to bed late on Thursday night, and getting up for a workout seemed like the last thing I wanted to do because I was over-tired. So I decided the best thing I could do for myself was get some rest - and I slept in. And I felt amazing when I woke up! I consciously chose to get rest rather than workout, and guess what happened next? I moved on with the day like a normal human being. I didn't beat myself up. I acknowledged that I FELT BETTER because after last week I really did need the rest.

So I'm doing what I need to do, and if the scale isn't moving that's OK because the comments on how I look are coming freely. I think it's great that others are noticing and I like their comments, but the only person whose acceptance I really need is MY OWN. And I am working diligently on that. I can say my legs look great, my shoulders look great, I look like a normal person (maybe even a slightly muscular woman?) in recent photos I have seen of myself. I love riding my bike. I love going to the pool. I love the results that weight training gets me. I love chocolate cake and pizza, and I still eat eat both but in moderation and I truly do not feel deprived.

This is happening, people... and the person I have to convince THE MOST that they do indeed look amazing is myself, but THAT is happening, too! :)

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Pic is DH and I at a wedding last weekend. He's one of the five people who commented!!!