what I CAN do...

I am having a hard time these past two weeks, with everything in life, not just with losing the weight. These two work projects are sort of killing me. One is completely done and released, the other releases on Monday and I am not ready, am overwhelmed and totally should have just pushed the deadline when that guy was sick. :( But I didn't, so here it is another Saturday in July, and I'm spending it working. This is... not ok. But I am trying to make my peace with it.

The reality is, I got myself into this position and I'm really mad at myself for it - which, ok I can acknowlege it's ok to be mad at myself, but then I have been mean to myself because of it and that is NOT ok. So this is where I need to refocus and realize that I am doing the best I can, and now that I know how the end of a course creation goes, I know how I can schedule them in the future.

In the past 2 weeks, my workouts have dropped off and my calorie consumption has gone up. I don't know what I weigh this morning, but WW weight yesterday was 172.7 - UP. Remember in the last post I wrote how I said when I got 90 minutes to myself, I wanted to evaluate what I was doing? Ha. Well, I don't have 90 minutes. But I was thinking I needed to lower my calories, since I wasn't losing weight. So I did that. And then, just for funsies, I ran a report on net calories over the past 90 days on MyFitnessPal:

Well lookee there, looks like I have several days over that red line (Daily Goal) lately. No, I don't need to lower my calorie setting in MFP, I just need to stick to my plans. And in order to stick to my plans, I have to make some plans to follow, and also be sure to have the good foods on hand. That stuff has all gone out the window lately. The result? A cluttered mind (with worry over my food/exercise fall-off), my scale weight trending upward, me doing a GREAT JOB at my actual job (go, me!) but letting my health and wellness fall behind (NOT go, me - that is BOO, me.) I really like the feedback MyFitnessPal provides, I mean, I thought I'd been over a few days here and there, but this shows that I'm over that line a LOT of days. Time to get back at it.

I am going to just do what I can until Monday as far as work goes. I have two fun events tonight. I am going to take tomorrow off working and start getting my house together for real. September will be here QUICKLY. 

No more beating myself up. I really am doing the best I can.