setting intentions - 10 weeks until GOAL

This weekend I went back to Bikram yoga. I missed the free yoga at 24hr and was determined to clear my mind... I knew there was a sale on the Bikram packages at the studio near my house, so I went and I bought a package, and of course did a class! I FORGOT how HOT and HARD that 90 minutes is! But I did it all, was happy with it for the most part, and felt great afterward.

Usually during a class I set an intention. Sunday, my intention was to reconnect myself to my goals as far as weight loss is concerned. I feel great these days, and am 99% happy with how I look. But I still have a ride to do in October that has a Big Scary Hill - it will be easier to get up if I am lighter. And I still want to really love how I look in my Munich Oktoberfest pics and my sister's wedding pics - I LIKE how I look right now for sure, I just want to... LOVE it. Thinking about those things connected me to my whys for weight loss. Intention set an intention MET.

And then I thought about my intentions some more... I have 10 sessions (9 after Sunday). There are 10 weeks until I leave for Munich. I want to be at Weight Watchers' goal weight (164) before I go. I can use this yoga class to help me get there. And so, just like that, I set my intention for 10 weeks and I will be mindful and I'm just going to do it. 

Love.Liz 

what I CAN do...

I am having a hard time these past two weeks, with everything in life, not just with losing the weight. These two work projects are sort of killing me. One is completely done and released, the other releases on Monday and I am not ready, am overwhelmed and totally should have just pushed the deadline when that guy was sick. :( But I didn't, so here it is another Saturday in July, and I'm spending it working. This is... not ok. But I am trying to make my peace with it.

The reality is, I got myself into this position and I'm really mad at myself for it - which, ok I can acknowlege it's ok to be mad at myself, but then I have been mean to myself because of it and that is NOT ok. So this is where I need to refocus and realize that I am doing the best I can, and now that I know how the end of a course creation goes, I know how I can schedule them in the future.

In the past 2 weeks, my workouts have dropped off and my calorie consumption has gone up. I don't know what I weigh this morning, but WW weight yesterday was 172.7 - UP. Remember in the last post I wrote how I said when I got 90 minutes to myself, I wanted to evaluate what I was doing? Ha. Well, I don't have 90 minutes. But I was thinking I needed to lower my calories, since I wasn't losing weight. So I did that. And then, just for funsies, I ran a report on net calories over the past 90 days on MyFitnessPal:

Well lookee there, looks like I have several days over that red line (Daily Goal) lately. No, I don't need to lower my calorie setting in MFP, I just need to stick to my plans. And in order to stick to my plans, I have to make some plans to follow, and also be sure to have the good foods on hand. That stuff has all gone out the window lately. The result? A cluttered mind (with worry over my food/exercise fall-off), my scale weight trending upward, me doing a GREAT JOB at my actual job (go, me!) but letting my health and wellness fall behind (NOT go, me - that is BOO, me.) I really like the feedback MyFitnessPal provides, I mean, I thought I'd been over a few days here and there, but this shows that I'm over that line a LOT of days. Time to get back at it.

I am going to just do what I can until Monday as far as work goes. I have two fun events tonight. I am going to take tomorrow off working and start getting my house together for real. September will be here QUICKLY. 

No more beating myself up. I really am doing the best I can. 

sweet Jesus, it's working!

Pardon my absence, the network I usually use had some kind of hiccup connecting to Blogger, so I've been away. So much has happened!

First, the scale has not moved, pretty much at all. I was 169.2 the morning of the BikeMS ride (Day 1). I am pretty sure that at the end of Day 2, I was up 6 pounds. No joke, that ride is so well supported and full of food that it's probably the ONLY time you can ride for 130+ miles and GAIN WEIGHT. :) But seriously... 

Bike MS was AWESOME. I had set a goal to be able to ride both days having a great time pedalling with my friends, covering those miles of rolling hills to Fort Collins and back "like they were nothing." Well, after 110 miles on a bike, if the last 20 are a steady uphill, it's gonna be SOMETHING. But other than that end stretch (ALL of us were miserable) I met my goal. I rode with some very strong riders and was able to keep up with them and keep a conversation going the entire time. And the CONVERSATIONS!!! I would not trade them for anything! I got closer to my husband and three of our friends on that ride. This pic is DH and I crossing the finish line on Day 1.

Some of the team members from last year returned, and one guy was shocked at how much weight I had lost. He said that my jersey was just hanging off me this year. I was happy he noticed, but I got totally tongue-tied about how to explain it or talk about it or even acknowledge it, really. I felt silly. I still don't know how best to respond in those situations. In any case, the funny thing about the jersey was that I had actually exchanged my jersey from last year for a smaller one. I thought the new jersey fit me VERY tightly, but my friend in charge of them said it fit me and was actually a little loose. So off I go in what I think is a super skin-tight top, and lo and behold someone else says it's too big! To be honest, I am totally fine with the "bagginess" and I won't be going tighter - goodness, how would I breathe?

So what else... I bought a pair of bike shorts, fancy ones, in a size Large. I wanted a pair of shorts that had a yellow band across the back hips. I walked into TriBella and lo and behold, that's how their Coeur kits were set up this year! So I splurged. I can't believe I'm in a large. 

The past couple weeks since the ride have been a blur of work, visits from friends and in-laws, getting ready for Sister's wedding in September (my dress comes in this week!) and booking a trip to Munich for Oktoberfest!!!! Yes that is right, we're going for our second international trip this year, a birthday present for ME :) :) :) I am so excited. That will happen the week before my SECOND big ride in Santa Fe. Ha, I just realized that both these rides have a focus on the food. So, back to the past couple weeks - I could be doing better, but I am doing my best - TRULY. I am tracking and planning and hitting my workouts. My trainer even cancelled on me on Tuesday this week, I went to the gym and lifted on my own. 

Overall life is good. I am tired. But it's all good. Work, while a pain, is proving to be slightly rewarding these days. I mean, here it is 11PM and I'm up finishing a project (I finished! Blogging came after!) I have two deadlines for work on Monday; I am really hoping I don't have to work this weekend to meet them. If I do, I do. As soon as I have 90 minutes to myself I will look over my tracker and see what I can do to kick the last five-ish pounds of fat to the curb. Summer is generally my best time of year for weight loss. 

Well, I just saw a mouse run around my kitchen, so that will give me nightmares I'm sure. Time to go try for some peaceful slumber anyhow.